5 Thing I Never Say To My Depressed Clients

Depressive woman

Depression is a common illness worldwide, with more than 264 million people affected (Quoted from the World Health Organization). Coaches often assume that a comment that might make them feel better on a bad day will do the same for someone who’s depressed. That’s just not the case. Depression is more than the blues. Here are a few statements I refrain from saying to the clients I work with that suffer from depression:

1. I Know Exactly How You Feel.

2. You Need to Exercise.

3. It’s All In Your Head.

4. Just Think Positive.

5. Do You Know How Lucky You Are?


“Learn how to make changes in your thinking so that you can make permanent changes in your eating.”

If you are feeling depressed and would like to have a compassionate coach support you, check out the CBT-FIT 1:1 Coaching Program. Emergency slots have opened up for COVID-19.


CBT-Fitness Virtual Group Coaching? Is This For You?

Woman looking through her laptop

Virtual CBT-Fitness Health Coaching for corporations is a powerful tool in assisting employees with anxiety and depression. The support and feedback of group coaching can lessen symptoms of overwhelm/worry, improve functionality and will help make employees’ return to work possible when the quarantine band is lifted.

The virtual group CBT-Fitness coaching is the solution to companies having to suddenly shift to having to work from home. The program provides group sessions focused on feelings of anxiety and depression through secure video conference technology. It is a blend of psychotherapy (CBT skills), mindfulness, nutrition and fitness education. The goal of the coaching calls is to enhance resiliency and navigate COVID-19 challenges and improve functionality and balance while working at home.

Our CBT-Fitness Corporate Group Coaching Program has many benefits, including: 

  • Helping to ease social isolation and provide practice for interacting with others.
  • Helping employees realize they are not alone in their struggles.
  • Providing an opportunity to practice CBT-Fitness skills and receive feedback in a safe environment.
  • Providing an opportunity for employees to talk about their challenges and receive perspective from fellow coworkers.

What are companies saying about the program?

“Although we were hesitant to opt in for a wellness package at such an uncertain time; my partners agreed that the health and wellness of our staff’s mental and physical state was of utmost importance. Transitioning to working at home, is not easy – and then add a pandemic into the mix. Jill has been our go to over the past month – and has kept our staff’s mood optimistic and hopeful. We feel even closer as a company than ever before.” 

“Jill has worked with one of our employees for many years, and was kind enough to offer her CBT-Fit Course as a way to help ease the burden of mental stress during the COVID-19 pandemic. After starting the course myself for the first time, I knew that I wanted to do more for the employees who needed a more hands on approach. For the past 2 weeks, Jill has been conducting coaching calls for our employees. Since starting the calls, I have noticed more “smiles” and an increase in productivity. We will be continuing these calls for the next three months with Jill, so that we can transition back to work with the essential support and guidance that is needed.”


I would love to see how CBT-Fitness Skills can help your company thrive. If you are interested in learning more, please contact me and I will help choose the right virtual group CBT-Fitness program for your company.

Kind Regards,

Jill Bunny

It Doesn’t Have To Be Personal!

Stop taking things personally

We may react by overanalyzing, ruminating, and even getting depressed and anxious over interactions with other people. For some of us, a simple conversation gone wrong can make us feel sick, disrupt our sleep, and send us into an all out binge with the snack cupboard.

So how can we stop doing this to ourselves? How can we reduce the feelings of heightened sensitivity so that we don’t suffer and sabotage our own health?

For starters, take back your POWER!

When I was learning CBT, (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) one of the wisest things my mentor asked me was, “Why are you giving your power away?” This was usually in response to allowing myself to get upset by what others might say. The more you allow someone to upset you, the more power you give to them.

As children we have very little power. We are dependent upon our carers. If you were in a situation as a child where an adult in your life abused their power, you may still believe that you are helpless even as an adult. As difficult as it may be to believe, time does alter this equation. You do have control and power as an adult. You don’t have to put up with a bad situation, and you don’t have to give away your power to anyone.

Limit interactions with toxic people.

Toxic people are skilled at making things personal. You may take what they say to heart because essentially, that was what they intended to do. These are the people in your life who drain you of emotional energy.

After an encounter with a toxic person you may feel nervous, angry, devalued, or depressed. One solution may be to cut off contact completely. If that is not possible, then try limiting your interaction with the person. You should never have to forfeit your mental health for anyone… yes ANYONE!

Ask for clarification.

Instead of ruminating and picking apart conversations to try to understand what someone meant, ask the person directly for clarification. (Go to the source!). It is important that you ask this question in a non-defensive way in order to reduce unnecessary confrontation. It is not guaranteed that you will get a straight answer back, but you will have opened the door for honest communication. This is almost always better than allowing things to fester and stew in your own head.

(Somethings that I ask myself before asking for clarification:

  • Is this person going to realistically be in my life in the next 5 years?
  • Do I even want them to be? If not – you may have got all the clarification you needed –  without needing to waste time ruminating or conversing.)

Understand Your Hot Points.

Everyone is sensitive to certain topics or issues. Some sensitive areas may be weight, making mistakes, or any perceived faults. You may also be sensitive to anything you were ever bullied for in the past. Be aware of these “hot spots” and how you may tend to overreact when they come up in conversation. The key is to not allow yourself to get sucked into feeling your old wounds.

Understand that you don’t have any control over what people say.

You may have had the desire at some point of wishing to control what others say. You can’t. People will think things. They will say things you don’t like. Other people may be mean. You can’t stop that. But you can control how you react and respond.

  • You can choose to be assertive.
  • You can choose to limit your interactions with this person.
  • You can choose to not give this person your power by allowing them to upset you.
  • Focus on what you can do instead of what the other person is doing or saying.

Realize that some people say stupid things.

When most people talk, they aren’t thinking about you or anyone else. There are many people who say hurtful things because they don’t know how to express themselves and they are oblivious to their audience. This is no excuse for rude behavior, but at least you know in some instances it is not about you. What people say is always more about themselves than anyone else.

Focus on the positive people in your life.

You only have so much time and energy in a single day. Why give your precious energy to people who make your life miserable? Stop trying to “work” at bad relationships or fix negative interactions. Just let them go. It is not your job to make everyone nice/happy. Move on to focusing on the people who do matter most in your life. These are people who are mostly likely being neglected because you are too busy fussing over jerks.

When some interaction distracts you from functioning, ask yourself these questions.

  1. Is this interaction important in the larger scheme of things?
  2. Do I need to seek clarification?
  3. What do I have to gain by responding or letting it go? Is this the best use of my time and energy?

Being sensitive in a seemingly insensitive world can feel like you are always getting hurt. But you don’t have to suffer. There are things you can do to be less vulnerable. Although I have listed a few strategies on how to cope with being highly sensitive, I am sure you all have other ideas.