Are You a Weight-Loss Sabotager?
Do any of these sounds familiar?
- You are careful for a certain period of time, lose some weight, and improve your fitness… then gradually revert back to your old ways.
- You know exactly what to do, but cannot seem to do it. You feel like you could write a diet book with everything you know about weight loss. But you do not put the knowledge to action.
The truth is, there is a huge difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it. It is easy to hop from one diet/training program to the next without ever sticking with anything. Success comes down to our mindset, psychology, and habits. (The foundation of Fit Bunnies Fitness!)
No diet that is solely based on the food you eat will help you figure out why you gained weight in the first place. A diet will not fix emotional, mindless, stress-induced eating, and it will not fix habitual, compulsive binge-eating. Basically, a diet will not get to the root cause of why you overeat.
People often think a fear of failure is holding them back. I frequently hear, “I don’t want this to be yet another failed diet attempt.” But surprisingly, it’s a fear of success that holds people back the most. The best diet will not matter—no matter how determined you might feel—if a part of you wants to destroy progress toward your goals.
Self-Sabotage Happens When You’re Scared of Success
Why would you be scared of success? Well, if you are successful, any number of fears could be realized. For instance, you will not have food as a way to temporarily escape or quiet your mind at work or home. Or you will have to deal with uncomfortable feelings such as self-doubt, regret, disappointment, or fear (because you are not suppressing them with food).
Maybe you will lose the “Once I lose the weight I will finally…” safety blanket that protects you from taking action on an intimidating (but ultimately rewarding) goal.
These are real psychological roadblocks, but nothing that cannot be overcome. To break from a pattern of weight-loss sabotage, you need to get to the root of why you are sabotaging yourself. I frequently use the exercise below, which often leads to breakthroughs.
Jill Bunny – CBT- Worksheet
We fall off track because a part of us is not sure that the goal we are working toward is going to make our lives better. This causes inner conflict, and when there is inner conflict, we do the easiest thing of all: Nothing.
I’ve used this simple worksheet to many of our bunnies, and I have found that it helps determine what’s really holding them back.
1. List five reasons you believe your life will be worse off when you achieve your goal.
Here are some answers from our members:
- I do not feel like it is possible, so why even bother trying. Nothing works long-term, and failing in front of everyone multiple times is embarrassing.
- My husband loves beer; I want to go to breweries with him and drink beers without worrying about calories or carbs.
- I’m scared of dating. I know if I lose the weight, I’ll have no excuse not to get out there.
- I’m worried I will never being able to eat my favourite foods again and I will always feel deprived.
- I do not want to exercise for hours every day.
These reasons all have one thing in common: Our powerful subconscious minds believe that rationalizing ourselves out of weight loss will protect us. But once we identify the real reasons that are holding ourselves back, we can begin to counter them.
2. Challenge your fears.
Question your reasons and look at your fears logically so you can remove their power.
I don’t feel like it’s possible, so why bother trying. Nothing works long-term, and failing in front of everyone multiple times is embarrassing.
Is it really true that nothing works long-term? You have seen others accomplish weight-loss goals, and you are just as capable as they are. Perhaps what you have tried was not sustainable. You are worth taking another shot. Besides, our desire to lose weight and improve our health does not fade; we just tend to either realize our goals or rationalize them away when achieving them gets challenging. And if we are honest, “everyone” usually comes down to just a few people, anyway.
My boyfriend loves beer; I want to go to breweries with him and drink beers without worrying about calories or carbs.
You can still go to breweries with him. However, there has to be a balance between living for today and living for tomorrow. One solution is to be selective of what, where, and when you indulge. Try this: Ask yourself, Will I remember this beer in two weeks? If so, go for it. If not, skip it.
I’m scared of dating. I know if I lose the weight, I’ll have no excuse not to get out there.
What about dating are you scared of? Is it the possibility of rejection? Are you scared all romantic partners will be like your last one? Are you scared to be vulnerable? This can be hard stuff to think about, but try to be as specific as possible.
I’m worried that I’ll never being able to eat my favorite foods again and I’ll always feel deprived.
Any program that demands you give up your favourite foods is ridiculous. Deprivation is NOT sustainable. You can enjoy your favourite foods while losing weight. I teach our members how to be fit and happy, not fit and miserable. If you do not enjoy your life as you are losing weight, you will never be able to sustain your weight loss.
I don’t want to exercise for hours every day.
You do not have to! 80% of weight loss is diet. It is about what, why, and how we eat. This is why you see people working their butts off in the gym month after month—even with a trainer—looking no different. It’s what you do between exercise that makes all the difference.
Now that you’ve challenged your fears, you can counter them with how you believe your life will be better if you do lose weight.
3. List five reasons you believe your life will be better once you achieve your goal.
Here are some examples from our members:
- I will be healthier and reduce my chances of getting preventable diseases.
- I will have more energy for myself and my family.
- I will feel happy to be in photos instead of hiding away from the camera.
- I will be a good role model for my children so they don’t repeat my negative food behaviours.
- I will finally stop worrying about my weight.
Until we identify and deal with the reasons we fear success, we will never be successful. A lack of knowledge about what is good for us is rarely the real problem in this day and age. Instead, we tend to suffer from a lack of consistent action… and that usually comes down to what is going on between our ears.
If you are ready to tackle your mindset when it comes to losing weight – then Team Bunny is for you! From 1-to-1 coaching, to exclusive mindset courses, I am here to make sure you are on the right path! Contact me today – and we can start your weight-loss journey!
Lots of Love,