Opening up my Facebook this morning, I happened to click on my “Memories” to read this post:
You might be thinking – what made that day so hard? (And why would I drink coffee or tea instead of wine?)
On June 19th, 2011 – was the day my entire world ended. It felt like I was in a plane crash, accompanied by my UK friends and family – and I was the only one that survived.
It might sound a bit over the top – but at that time – that was how I felt.
At 25 years old, I boarded a plane, leaving my entire UK friends and family behind – including my soon to be ex-husband. I wish I could write that I had made the decision to leave the marriage. But that was not the case. I was no longer wanted. It was heartbreaking, finding out that the person I loved, no longer felt the same way. Years of memories and friendships were all taken away; almost instantly.
Feeling hopeless, unloved and unworthy – I had to somehow pick myself up and start over. But how? At 25, divorced and jobless, I felt broken. I felt I had too much “baggage” and no-one would ever want to date a “divorcee.”
I remember looking out the planes window, thinking how much easier it would be if the plane just crashed. I would no longer feel the pain and heartache – and I wouldn’t be a burden to my family. Was I better off not being alive?
Sitting here – writing that last paragraph, has me gasping for air. With tears streaming down my face, and fingers trembling, I feel the urge to express how lucky I feel for escaping my past life. And honestly – what an incredible NEW life I have created!
I went from:
- Weighing 95lbs and depressed – to weighing __lbs (who knows how much I weigh)… I’m happy!
- Earning minimum wage working at a gym – to owning three health and fitness companies!
- Being stuck in an unhappy, unfulfilled marriage – to a marriage full of love and happiness!
- Having zero belief in my own capabilities – to thinking there is NO LIMIT to what I can conquer!
- Thinking I am no longer an athlete – to finding my sport, and winning 4 IFBB Titles!
- Being told I was too old to be a model (at 24)- to landing 5 Covers! (One at 33 years of age).
- Thinking I am a terrible writer, scared to put my thoughts on paper – to publishing 3 books on Amazon!
- Having little respect for my life – to appreciating everyday I am alive (Yes, surviving cancer and living with MS brings a different perspective on life).
- Thinking I need to look beautiful to have friends – to wanting to FEEL beautiful for myself!
I have learned a lot over the past 9 years – and it took a lot of work to change my thoughts and beliefs. But everyday I wake up, I am glad that I fought for a better life. I am so grateful to my hubby, Mr. Bunny. Thank you for being my best friend, and showing me that love, marriage and friendship could be better then I ever imagined!
Tonight, Mr. Bunny and I are celebrating this day – The day I left my past behind and flew back to Canada, where I am happy to call my HOME!
Thank you all, especially the Bunnies reading this, that have been part of my life and business over the last 9 years. Thank you for healing my heart and showing me that life is worth living!
Lots of Love,
PS – If you run a fitness business – My Best Friend Kristen and I are celebrating Sunday June 21st at 12pm ET – with our signature Brunch + Brand Call (FREE) talking about ways you can save money! Register Now!